Free Edvice

cropped-cropped-ellenville3a.jpgDear Dr. Ed,

I’m worried, my husband stopped going to church with me, he insists on staying home. What should I do?

Concerned In Coxsackie

Dear Concerned,

There are options, tie him down, he might like that at first, douse him with holy water and shout “The power of Christ compels you!”

If you want something more conventional you could stay home yourself, for “us” time. That should force him out.

 

Dear Dr. Ed,

My husband is very rich, famous and very powerful. He’s been acting strange the last year and he gets worse by the day.  He keeps tweeting nonsensical things and talks to the paintings in our home.  This is odd since many of the paintings aren’t portraits, they’re landscapes.  I mean, who talks to a snow-covered bridge?  I’ve asked him to see a doctor but he tells me I’m part of the “deep state.”  What should I do?

Worried In Washington, DC

 

Dear Worried,

You should cancel his Twitter account and give him a time out.  I’d also suggest sending him to bed with no dessert or cell phone.

If that doesn’t work another option is a brain transplant.  There are ways find a donor, you may want to check under “single cell organisms” to find a match.

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